i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
