She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
