At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
only if we run a train.
done.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
