yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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