She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
