What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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