I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I faked an abortion last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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