is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
