RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
