Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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