6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My pussy is not your playground.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
