I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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