I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
