I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There's always time for handjobs
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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