i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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