do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Can Purell be used as lube?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize