hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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