omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We talked him into tasing himself.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just want nice things and good sex
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
