I wish I could punch you in the face.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize