No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
