Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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