I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
