We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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