I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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