it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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