oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
