New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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