I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
why is half of my head shaved?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
