Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I will be naked everywhere
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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