i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
