She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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