i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
