Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
