isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
