I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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