Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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