Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
