At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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