So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
