Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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