Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
