my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
