Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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