idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You made out with two different species that night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
