he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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