Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this boner is exhausting
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
