He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
