Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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