Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
