sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
