That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
