is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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