I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
