We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
