mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
