Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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