I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
