i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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