Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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