Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
