Texts From Last Night

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?

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  (231): Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding? http://tfl.nu/57be
  Replies (22) Good night (655) Bad night (1502)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  thus making me awesome and them whores

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  (216): thus making me awesome and them whores http://tfl.nu/kdn8
  Replies (14) Good night (3300) Bad night (654)
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  (510): View more from California

  So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school

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  (510): So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school http://tfl.nu/z2dy
  Replies (79) Good night (627) Bad night (3743)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I was born with a shot glass in my hand

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  (941): I was born with a shot glass in my hand http://tfl.nu/41xg
  Replies (30) Good night (3550) Bad night (608)
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  (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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  (661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how" http://tfl.nu/sghh
  Replies (50) Good night (30577) Bad night (1321)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster

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  (905): the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster http://tfl.nu/r7o9
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (3767)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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  (248): i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid. http://tfl.nu/t711
  Replies (33) Good night (8833) Bad night (1110)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

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  (302): I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/y6ds
  Replies (12) Good night (5104) Bad night (999)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.

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  (647): I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat. http://tfl.nu/9m2y
  Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (537)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.

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  (414): If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg. http://tfl.nu/31ua
  Replies (2) Good night (1330) Bad night (664)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?

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  (203): If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche? http://tfl.nu/avjw
  Replies (22) Good night (3063) Bad night (837)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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  (248): I immediately regret the tequila decision. http://tfl.nu/ptpj
  Replies (4) Good night (567) Bad night (321)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer

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  (405): And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer http://tfl.nu/voyh
  Replies (4) Good night (556) Bad night (481)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.

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  (604): Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy. http://tfl.nu/syw5
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (310)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.

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  (870): Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage. http://tfl.nu/n65p
  Replies (5) Good night (585) Bad night (292)

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