your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar