he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
