Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.