Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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