i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
