dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Duck Duck Cougar?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
