Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
