There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
