Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
