I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
