We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
